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Shani-lee Wallis

Winning the War with Myself: Journey to a More Fulfilled Life

Updated: Mar 20, 2022

Bringing awareness to mental health and how it can manifest into something destructive has always been important. But it has proved to be more prevalent in today’s world.


As a community, we rally around those that suffer the obvious physical impact that the pandemic has caused. But we easily forget that the emotional and societal changes leave lasting impressions as we adapt to the new norm. Often these emotions can be worse than the physical toll and need a longer recovery.


My personal experience with anxiety and depression stemmed from childhood abuse and high school bullying. Over time this consumed me and manifested into bulimia. Something I would struggle with for years.


Suffering throughout my tumultuous journey was something I no longer wanted to endure. The never-ending uphill battle was too much. I was ready to take back my life. Through research and education, I realized why I had never been successful in my recovery, until now. It isn’t enough to take any one step towards feeling better.


Being physically, emotionally, and psychologically strong are the key factors to keeping a balanced and healthy life. However, obtaining this goal can only be achieved if you put in the work.


Below is what I incorporated into my life, and I have never been happier.

Take the next step and you too can have a brighter day, that turns into a brighter week and ultimately into a more fulfilled life.


Self-Discovery

Take the time to think about and write down the reasons why you feel the need to start making positive changes in your life.

It can be a way to deal with emotions stemmed from anxiety, trauma, depression or maybe you are on a journey of self-discovery or enlightenment. Whatever the reason, you’ll find this path uplifting.


Acknowledgement

Now that you’ve identified your why, you need to dissect and dig a little deeper.

Close your eyes and take a few deep cleansing breathes. In through your nose, out

through your mouth. Feel free to do this whilst listening to calming music.


Focus on your why. Be vulnerable and acknowledge any emotions that may have been triggered by your thoughts. Feel them, allow them to come to the surface. These feelings are yours. Own them. Only then, can you work on taking away the power it has over you. Then you can work on letting go.

Repeat 10 times: I am strong! You don’t have power over me!

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If your journey is stemmed from enlightenment, then use this time to think about

the goals you’d like to achieve.


Visualize as if its already happened and focus on how it makes you feel to have achieved those goals.

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Daily Meditation

Meditation is transformational. It can calm your mind and give you a sense of peace that can benefit your emotional wellbeing and improve your quality of life.

The benefits don't end along with your session. Meditation continues to carry you more calmly throughout your day. It’s been proven to help with anxiety, depression, keep you more focused, and is a great way to start your day on a positive note.


Daily Gratitude

Instead of focusing on things you don’t have, focus on the things you do and be grateful for them. My daily gratitude is something that makes me smile, every day.

On my drive to work, I look out at the mountains, and I say aloud what I am grateful for. It can be anything for which I am truly thankful. I really feel the emotion behind what I am saying, as this is the driving force behind really putting it out there and feeling good.


It’s important to give back to the universe, even if all you have is what you’re thankful for. Start each sentence with ‘I am so happy and grateful for…’ And make sure to say thank you at the end.


Daily Journal

Write about your day and include the highs as well as the lows.

Start with the negative things you encountered or endured and how you overcame them. If you haven’t yet, list what you can do to accomplish them.


Underline any negative thoughts or emotions you listed. Were they stemmed from an action of others? If so, cross them out and remember that you are in control of how others make you feel. You don’t have to absorb their negativity. They don’t have control over you. You are in control of your own emotions!

Replace the negative words with those that make you feel good and uplifted. Spend a minute to think about what it would be like if you truly felt that way about yourself.


End your journaling on a positive note.

What was it that made you smile? Did someone do a nice thing for you? Did you receive a compliment from a coworker? Anything that made you feel warm, encouraged or hopeful is worth thinking about. Smile whilst you write about these good things. It’s amazing how it can trick your mind into making you feel good.


Random acts of Kindness

Doing something that makes people feel good can have a big impact on their day.

There is always an opportunity to spread some good in the world and fill your feel-good engine and brighten your day along the way.


The more you give back and create little pockets of happiness around you, the more often you’ll find yourself smiling and the better it will make you feel. Creating these small emotional changes can build into something bigger. Experiencing more of these moments throughout the day will ultimately make your day better.


Since a good deed can be as small as giving a compliment, you should be able to do something each day. Below are some ideas to get you started on your journey to a more fulfilled day.


I am affirmations

Daily Affirmations became a mainstay: To motivate, inspire and be a daily reminder that I can live a positive lifestyle. I’d find positive things I wanted to believe in, and I’d say them out loud whilst looking in the mirror.

· I am strong

· I am a survivor

· Today I will abandon my destructive behavior

· Today I will use behaviors that are good for me

Try recording yourself saying your affirmations out loud and listen to them as you fall asleep.


Workout Regimen

Exercising not only prevents weight gain but improves mood and boosts energy. It promotes better sleep and can combat many health conditions.

It’s been proven to be an effective treatment for those suffering from depression and anxiety.

Mood Enhancement

Anything you can do to enhance your mood, do it!

Blasting music in your car, dancing in your seat, singing to your favorite song, keep it up.


Stay in positive moments as long as you can. Keep smiling as much as you can.

It’s ok to have off days and think about things that make you unhappy. But remember to bring it back to positive thoughts.


Microbursts of good emotions are one of the building blocks to creating a good day. Filling our lives with more good days creates a happier and more fulfilled life.

Keep adding those blocks and over time your foundation will be strong and full of support.


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Make a checklist of goals you want to accomplish per month.

One main goal a week. Reward yourself when you achieve your goal. If you are working towards your goals with a family members support, ask them to participate in the rewards system.

Maybe it’s a day trip somewhere, a book you want to read, game night, day at an amusement park. Family time, day of relaxation, massage. You can allocate small rewards for weekly goals and a big reward if you accomplish everything for the month.

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Don’t feel like you have to implement everything at once.

Take it a day at a time and incorporate what you are comfortable with. You can slowly start building up.


I hope implementing these tasks into your daily life makes as much of an impact on your well being as it has on mine. Download a complimentary copy of the Winning the War with Myself Workbook, to aid you on your journey.


Please like, and comment below with you feedback.

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